[Verse 1]
Sittin’ on the bench, ma heart full o’ pride,
Lookin’ at the bald heads passin’ by the side.
Aye, they’ve got nae hair, but they’ve got a strong will,
Legends all, welcome tae the bench, big bald heed just like Phil,

[Chorus]
Bench for the Bald. 

Pull up a seat.

Bench for the Bald.

Where the hairs don't meet.

A shiny crown, like the moon up above.

Bench for the Bald. 

Pull up a seat.

Bench for the Bald.

Where the hairs don't meet.


[Verse 2]
Nae need for a comb, a brush, or a perm,
Bald men walkin’ proud, with a smile that’s firm.
Aye, they’ve got swagger, nae hair to weigh them down,
When ah see them walkin’, sure it looks like a crown.

[Chorus]
Bench for the Bald. 

Pull up a seat.

Bench for the Bald.

Where the hairs don't meet.

A shiny crown, like the moon up above.

Bench for the Bald. 

Pull up a seat.

Bench for the Bald.

Where the hairs don't meet.

[Bridge]
They’ve nae need for fuss, nae need for the dye,
Their heads are all glist’nin’, catchin’ the sky.
Sittin’ here, wie a tear in ma eye,
Admiring the bald, as the years go by.

[Chorus]
Bench for the Bald. 

Pull up a seat.

Bench for the Bald.

Where the hairs don't meet.

A shiny crown, like the moon up above.

Bench for the Bald. 

Pull up a seat.

Bench for the Bald.

Where the hairs don't meet.

[Outro]
So here’s tae the bald, may yer heads always shine,
Ah'll raise a glass, tae the bald men, divine.
A love that’s eternal, though nae hair in sight,
Am all for ye, ye bold lads o’ the night.

Bench for the Bald. (Are Di' wud ave luved this)